Donna’s Story Is An Example Of What Parents and Grandparents Can Do To Fight for The Education Of Their Children
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*SPECIAL NOTE: We used a different name for the grandson out of respect for his privacy.
There is something special about being a grandmother. It’s a different kind of love from being a parent. It’s motherhood love times two as we love our child and the child of our child. We are supposed to be there as the support staff, the counselor, the one turned to when there are questions about how to do things or what we did as parents during this stage or that event. We are the ones to provide childcare when needed. How many of us joke about the wonders of being a grandparent and being “able to hand my grandchild back to his/her parents” when we get tired? I know I do.
Sometimes, life doesn’t allow a grandparent to have that luxury. That is the case for Donna. Donna is a loving grandmother. She is an engaged member of her community who has had leadership positions in her county, promoted positive changes in education through her local Moms for Liberty chapter, etc. She is one tough lady, a warrior dolling out truth when she needs to. Frankly, she is a busy person!
But, one battle, the fight for her grandson and his future, outweighs it all.
Donna has a grandson who is 12 1/2 years old and in 6th grade. He is like most normal kids, loves video games, making videos and watching “how to videos” on YouTube; loves animals and loves to hang out in the pool in the summer. He is initially shy around other people but will talk your ear off and become the center of attention once he knows you. We’ll call him Tommy for privacy’s sake.
When Donna’s daughter, who has struggled with bipolar disorder and addiction for the past 20 years, was evicted from the building they lived in, Tommy came to live with Donna temporarily in January 2025. His mother checked herself into the local hospital’s psych ward. From there she was transferred to two in-patient addiction programs and is now in sober living.
Up to then, Donna and her daugher had a tumultous relationship due to the addiction and all that goes with it. Donna rarely saw her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and Tommy. But, Tommy needed her so Donna took him in.
She knew within minutes of Tommy moving in that he could not read or write. He was working with Donna to hook up an X-box system and the two of them were struggling. So, they texted another grandson for help. The older grandson texted his response to Tommy. Immediately Tommy brought the phone to Donna.
Tommy couldn’t read the text.
In shock, Donna contacted Tommy’s previous school and requested a meeting. She obtained all of his IEP (Individual Educational Plans) from first grade till the present. Donna knew he had an IEP but didn’t know for what. The school had previously had the required IEP meetings, but Tommy’s mom didn’t always attend or even participate via phone. As most parents, she believed everything the IEP team told her and trusted them to do the right thing for him. She didn’t request additional services.
She and Tommy’s father told Donna that they had requested Tommy be held back but the IEP team told them he could not be held back due to his physical size. There is no documentation of this on the IEP reports, but this was confirmed when Donna asked her county Superintendent and Assistant Superintendent why this would be the case.
Their answer? The two of them, the rest of the Board of Education, and the school district’s leadership team believe that it is detrimental to hold students back when their peers are moving forward. Donna’s argument was that Tommy should have and COULD HAVE been retained in Kindergarten or First grade to help him catch up!
*For information’s sake: This has been “accepted” educational theory for quite some time now. I can remember sitting in meetings and being told that we could NOT hold children back because it would hurt their “self-esteem.” It didn’t matter how far behind the child was, they had to be pushed on to the next grade. No wonder students are graduating without being able to read and do basic math!
As for his disability, Tommy was finally tested at school and diagnosed with dyslexia, dysgraphia and dyscalculia. Here are the definitions of these disorders:
Dyslexia is a learning disorder that involves difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding). Also called a reading disability, dyslexia is a result of individual differences in areas of the brain that process language.
Dyslexia is not due to problems with intelligence, hearing or vision. Most children with dyslexia can succeed in school with tutoring or a specialized education program. Emotional support also plays an important role.
Though there’s no cure for dyslexia, early assessment and intervention result in the best outcome. Sometimes dyslexia goes undiagnosed for years and isn’t recognized until adulthood, but it’s never too late to seek help. Dyslexia – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic
Side Note: It is estimated that over FORTY million people in the United States are dyslexic. Only about 2 million are diagnosed. 33 Dyslexia Statistics & Facts: How Many People Have Dyslexia?
Dysgraphia is a specific learning disability and a transcription disability. It is a deficiency in the ability to write, primarily handwriting, but also coherence. Dysgraphia is a neurological disorder that can affect children or adults. It is characterized by problems with writing, including impaired handwriting, orthographic coding, and finger sequencing. People with dysgraphia tend to use the wrong word for what they’re trying to communicate. Impaired handwriting can interfere with learning to spell words in writing and speed of writing text. Berninger VW, Wolf BJ (2009). Teaching Students with Dyslexia and Dysgraphia: Lessons from Teaching and Science. Baltimore, Maryland: Paul H. Brooks Publishing Co. ISBN 978-1-55766-934-6.
Dyscalculia is a learning disability that affects the ability to learn arithmetic and mathematics. It is characterized by difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, performing mathematical calculations and learning facts in mathematics. Dyscalculia is a diagnosis used to describe learning difficulties related to math concepts. It is sometimes called “numbers dyslexia”, but dyslexia refers to difficulty reading and writing, while dyscalculia is specifically related to mathematics. Miller K. “What Is Dyscalculia? What Should I Do if My Child Has It?”. WebMD. Retrieved 19 September 2019.
A psychologist was involved in the process of the school testing Tommy. Currently, he sees a psychologist once a week at school due to anger management and behavior management mostly due to his frustration. Imagine how it must feel to a child who cannot learn what he knows he needs to learn?
Another problem that Donna faced when Tommy came to her in January was that he had not been in school since prior to Thanksgiving last year. He had been transferred to a new school because the truancy officer threatened to arrest the parents for failing to send him to school.
When she found out he couldn’t read, Donna reached out to the new school and requested a meeting. Of course, she had to fill out paperwork with Social Services for Kinship documents to allow the school to discuss Tommy’s situation and to obtain necessary documents. She had to do the same with the psychologist’s office.
Donna scheduled the IEP meeting, and they reviewed the current IEP that was in place. When she asked them how this could happen and why it was permitted to happen, Donna was told that education is much different from when she attended school. The IEP leader informed her that we now live in a digital/electronic environment that provides lots of supports and accommodations for people who do not read or write. The implication was that Tommy would not need to learn to read, write, or do math. An electronic aid would do that for him.
Donna was astounded and asked if the school would be assigning an individual to follow her grandson around for the rest of his life to assist him in taking his driver’s test, reading restaurant orders, placing orders online or at fast food kiosks, filling out job applications, buying a house, etc.
Again, for those of us who spent time in education, this response from schools is not unusual. Instead of facing and fixing the problem, they dismiss it nonchalantly with the idea that there will always be technology to help people with basic skills. Why? It’s easier for the educators that way.
Donna didn’t accept that answer. She insisted that Tommy learn to read as quickly as possible so that he was no longer pushed from one grade to the next while still unable to read when he graduated. She discussed additional issues that needed to be added to Tommy’s IEP. Some were added, some were not. She then requested a speech evaluation and asked about staff who could provide assistance using Orton Gillingham’s method for dyslexic students.
You see, Donna didn’t just rely on school staff to offer solutions, she did her own extensive research.
What is the Orton-Gillingham Approach? | Academy of Orton-Gillingham Practitioners and Educators
Orton Gillingham s a direct, explicit, multisensory, structured, sequential, diagnostic, and prescriptive way to teach literacy when reading, writing, and spelling does not come easily to individuals, such as those with dyslexia. It is most properly understood and practiced as an approach, not a method, program, or system. In the hands of a well-trained and experienced instructor, it is a powerful tool of exceptional breadth, depth, and flexibility.
No one in the IEP team had training in that method. So, Donna found a friend who is a tutor trained in Orton GIllingham. Of course, this kind of tutoring is not free so Donna asked the school principal and the BOE president if the district paid for tutors especially since they played a huge part in how her grandson reached this point in his education and still couldn’t read or write. The answer from everyone she asked was a resounding “NO”.
This didn’t deter Donna and she hired the tutor. Tommy sees her three times a week after school. The tutor has the ability to see what he does, what he struggles with, and how to make constant changes with him. On his days off, Donna uses the program with him for thirty minutes a day.
Donna also notified the IEP team about the tutoring and the program the tutor is using. At the last meeting in April, the team decided to remove Tommy from the group reading program listed in his IEP and have him work with the IEP leader, one on one for 1 hour a day.
She is also consulting an education-based attorney and has provided the attorney with every IEP and document from the very beginning of Tommy’s schooling.
That wasn’t all Donna did. She sent a letter to Carey Wright, Maryland State Superintendent of Schools to report the issues Donna was having with the school system regarding her grandson. Shortly after, a State BOE employee, Brad, called to ask questions. Tommy’s case was then turned over to an investigation team. The lead investigator followed up with phone calls; asking questions and describing what would happen next. They felt that there were sufficient allegations to do an investigation of the school’s handling of Tommy’s case.
Approximately 60 days later, Donna received notification that the investigation was complete, and she was sent an email report of the finding.
The State found the school did some things correctly. They also found that the school failed on a few issues. The biggest problem was they failed to make changes to Tommy’s IEP when they were reporting absolutely NO educational progress. They were actually modifying the requirements and giving him A, B and C over the course of one year in reading!!! (Parents beware, this happens often!)
At this point, the prior school that initiated the IEP is on a corrective action plan. The District as a whole is also required to prepare a corrective action plan. The IEP leader at Tommy’s current school reached out and asked Donna be part of the meeting regarding the corrective action plan. That is scheduled for May 24th and she will be participating. Here is a link to report problems with a local school/school system:
MSDE State Complaint Forms & Information – St. Mary’s County Public Schools
We asked Donna to do a timeline of what she did and when she did it to help other parents and grandparents understand the process she followed to get the result she did. Here is that timeline:
* I identified the problem in early January
* I tried to have a conversation with the Superintendent and the Assistant Superintendent , to no avail.
* I called the school late in January. The IEP leader called back to discuss the IEP. At that time, I also requested a meeting with the team.
* The IEP meeting in Mid February was when I was made aware of his learning disabilities. I requested copies of the word lists the reading teacher was using.
* Frustrated, I sent an email to Dr. Wright explaining what was happening, how old Tommy was, his current level of reading which was K level, and demanded to know why and how such a thing is allowed to happen.
* I reached out to my friend Tara with a million questions. Tara is a wealth of knowledge regarding the diagnosis Jackson was given. Tara had the same issues with her children.
* I started asking more questions, reading articles, looking into other ways to help him.
* About 2 weeks after I sent the email to Dr. Wright, I received a call from Brad who is involved with State BOE.
* A few days later I received a call from the lead investigator letting me know they would be investigating my complaint. She called back a few days later with questions.
* On 2/28/25, I met with the principal and reviewed ALL IEP documents, psychologist reports and whatever they had in his file. I had everything hard copied and transfered to a flash drive which I picked up the following week.
* During this same time period, the IEP teachers set up a daily google report of homework, problems Tommy may have had during class, how he was doing with his work, papers that he failed to turn in. Basically, communicating daily for his major classes, how he was doing and anything they needed me to follow up on because by this point everyone was aware of the investigation.
* At the 3/12/25 local BOE meeting, I spoke about what was happening with my Grandson and how the system had failed him.
* I was looking for a tutor and by March 24th I had found out my friend was trained in dealing with Dyslexia so Tommy started private tutoring with her 3 days per week.
* The IEP team was notified that Tommy had started private tutoring because I asked about the school covering the expense.
* 4/2 I submitted an inquiry to the attorney’s office.
* 4/3 I had my intake call with the Advocate at the attorney’s office
* 4/7 I received and signed the agreement with the attorney’s office to have the advocate review the IEP documents.
* By 4/9 I had submitted all the digital documents from Tommy’s file to the Advocate at the attorney’s office.
* There was another meeting with the IEP team on April 10th and that’s when they made me aware they were placing him with the lead IEP person to start the Wilson Reading program. Supposedly Wilson Reading follows the same concepts of the Orton Willingham program.
* I have a meeting on 5/23 with the IEP team regarding the corrective action plan resulting from the investigation.
The process doesn’t end at school however.
Donna tries to get Jackson to take out books from the library that he is interested in. They sit together and she either reads them to him or he reads words he knows and she fills in what he doesn’t. When Tommy says a word incorrectly, she corrects him.
Donna often has to be strict about his time using the Lexis Core 5 program his tutor wants him to use. She constantly points out reasons he needs to learn to read as situations arise. She does this to demonstrate real life situations where reading is very important.
He does get frustrated with her but Donna’s ok with that if she can get him reading before he graduates. I know he may never be an excellent reader, but I know he can learn to read enough to be able to function in society when he does graduate, despite the lack of effort the leadership at this district have shown.
The teachers and principal at his current school have been very accomodating; listening to Donna’s requests and discussing them with her. They have implemented some things she requested and she has daily communication with them and regular communication with Tommy’s psychologist.
Tommy still has behavior issues, but Donna knows that much of these issues stem from his home life while living with his mother and father. She has not seen that behavior since he came to her because he knows she won’t tolerate his tantrums when he doesn’t get his own way. He also has not missed one day of school since living with Donna. She’s not sure what will happen when her daughter gets out at the end of July and Tommy goes back to live with her, but Donna will be watching and will continue to fight for him.
“If my daughter slips up one time,” Donna says, ” I will bring him back with me. I don’t want to have to do that but he deserves better.”
We started out talking about a grandmother’s love and how it is different from a mother’s love. We talked about how it is a love that encompasses more than one generation. It’s also a love that understands that sometimes a child needs someone to step up and be his champion and a warrior for his future.
Vice President J.D. Vance, a man who knows something about being raised by his grandmother, said this:
“She really just got me,” Vance told NBC News in a 2017 interview. “She understood when I needed somebody to ride me. She knew when I needed love and comfort. She knew when she needed to just be sympathetic. She was really smart.”
And look where he ended up.
Donna’s grandson is really fortunate to have her. Who knows what he can be in the future because of her gift of love and understanding.
SPECIAL NOTE: Are you a parent who needs help migrating the maze of special education, IEP’s etc. in your school system? Here are links to resources.
Steps to take:
https://mdod.maryland.gov/education/Pages/Education-Advocacy-Resources.aspx
Many Thanks to Donna C. for allowing us to share her story!
-Jan Greenhawk
The post A Grandmother’s Love: Fighting To Help Her Grandson Read appeared first on The Easton Gazette.
